He scrawls on autograph books and poses for photographs with fans who’ve been patiently waiting for hours and have come from as far away as Peshawar. And finally, with a tired sigh, he slides into his Pajero and taking a long sip from his Thums Up, turns to you questioningly. You’ve been waiting for this opportunity for hours. Today Shah Rukh Khan is the guy in the news. Who makes news. An actor who’s just notched up two winners— Pardes and Yes Boss and, with a much-awaited Dil To Pagal Hai, is on a hat-trick. And along with a third blockbuster he’s also expecting his first baby. “It’s going to be a tense Diwali,” he admits with a flash of the dimpled smile. But that’s not why he’s trailed by a gun-wielding security guy. He’s around because Shah Rukh could well be the target of some unsuspected hit-man. Fear has cast a pall of gloom over his sunny days and it's creditable that the star who admits to being unworried for himself but very worried for his family, can still sit back and relax... sometimes. But the constant fear, a couple of concocted articles, half-a-dozen baffling cases in court and a surprising income tax raid after he’d been declared the highest IT payer in the country, have taken their toll. Yesterday’s baazigar who didn’t have a care in the world, confesses that the pressures are getting to him. An impotent rage is simmering within him. Waiting to explode... but not on screen. For the next year he plans to be more restrained on screen. Intense but low-key. In the last five years he’s proved that he can excel in just about anything... emotion, action, negative and even romantic roles. From Darr to Dilwale... he’s proved his versatility, time and time again, and silenced his critics. Now it’s time to experiment. Return his debts to the industry. And do films which will make him a “cool guy” with his son’s friends. In the one-hour drive from Colaba to Bandra, Shah Rukh shares his dreams and nightmares. Excerpts:

1997 has been a good year for you so far.

As an actor, yes. I don’t think I was very bad in any of my films, be it Koyla where I was your typical action hero, Yes Boss which is a Govinda-like comedy, or Pardes which was a very restrained Jackie Shroff kind of performance. Dil To Pagal Hai is another different, low-key, intense performance. The film is a musical with two girls who’re just fantastic - but I’m not bad either (Grins wryly). It’s not easy to hold your own against artistes like Madhuri (Dixit), Karisma (Kapoor) and Akshay (Kumar) and I think I’ve done pretty well. I’ve had four releases this year and I’m proud of the fact that I could perform four very different characters convincingly. If Duplicate is released soon it will be a nice end to the year. It’s my first double role and I always found double roles something of a challenge because they’re so unreal. I’m playing a guy who’s so good, he’s almost a nerd... a Forrest Gump or a Jerry Lewis kind of character. And also a bad guy who maims, rapes, kills... he’s a bastard.

So you’re back to your bad bad ways. One would have thought that after Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge you’d want to turn good for good.

No way am I going to get stuck as the lovable guy. Love stories bore me even though Yashji (Chopra), Adi (Aditya Chopra) and Mani (Ratnam) keep telling me I’m the best romantic hero around. With Dilwale...I proved a point. Before that film a lot of people including my best friend Ratan Jain used to tell me, “Shah Rukh, sorry, but you’ll never work as a romantic hero.”

Didn’t they change their minds after Karan Arjun?

No, that was a fluke. It was a director’s film, a two-hero film, a film with good songs which I didn’t sing. To make matters worse, immediately after that I had a hat-trick of unfortunate flops— Zamana Deewana, Guddu and Oh Darling Yeh Hai India. There were a couple of actors who didn’t have a single release to their credit and they were telling me how to act romantic. Thank God, at a time when I had blood on my hands and face, Yashji had the guts and confidence to give me a Dilwale... I was surprised I was liked so much in Dilwale.... Even I didn’t know I could be so sweet. Dil To Pagal Hai is another sweet role but if the Dilwale... guy was young and impish, the Dil to Pagal Hai guy is older and more mature, but still a die-hard romantic. Dil To Pagal Hai is, for me, the ultimate in romance. At the end of my career I’d like to be known as the actor who introduced the bad guy to Hindi films or at least be acknowledged as the best bad guy we’ve seen. And a fairly successful good guy too. I’ve done the two extremes. It’s time to tread the middle path now. To move on...

To what? What’s left?

Well, so far I’ve been responsible for creating a hero who was unreal. Who, even when he was romancing, did the most outlandish things — jumped over cars, danced on roofs... Now I want to create a hero who’s real. Who, when he talks, cries or smiles you feel you’ve seen him somewhere before. He’s not Shah Rukh Khan, he’s like the regular Raju guy. Earlier it would have been difficult to do such roles. Not that I couldn’t do them before, I just never wanted to. If I had been low-key and restrained people would have been dismissive, “Thoda weak hai.” Even now, after Pardes, they’ve been telling me I seem very casual in certain scenes, almost disinterested.

And were you?

No way! I may love my films or hate them but I’ve never been disinterested in them. It’s just that in Pardes and Dil To Pagal Hai I am more restrained, more real. That’s what I’m planning to do for the next year. Today people expect me to give them a taste of something different. And there are makers around today — Mani, Shashilal Nair, Mansoor (Khan) and Karan Johar — who are ready to experiment with me. Even a Subhash Ghai says, “I’m going to present Shah Rukh in a way he has not been presented before.”

Has he? You didn’t seem too happy with the way Pardes shaped up. I haven’t seen the film so I wouldn’t know how it has shaped up.

I wish I’d got to play a more solid character though... I wish I was a better actor, a more learned actor. Maybe then I’d have handled the film better.

Was the story of Pardes changed after Dilwale... was released? In the second half one got the impression that Subhash Ghai was suffering from a hangover of Dilwale...

Well, Pardes was narrated to me after Dilwale... was released so I wouldn’t know if the story had been different earlier. It had moments like Dilwale...but then Dilwale...had moments like Hum Aapke Hain Koun...! Subhashji says he had written the script four years ago and he narrated the story to me when Shikhar ran into trouble. Shikhar is a story based in Kashmir and though Subhashji tried to get permission from the army to shoot there, it wasn’t easy. Around that time Gauri and I were also planning a baby and I didn’t want to go on any long outdoor shoots. So Subhashji suggested Pardes which was a simpler film, where I had to be out only on one outdoor. I liked the first half, till the time the girl flies off leaving me holding a red rose. But the second half meandered a bit and the end was a little too convenient. I’ve been told it’s like the climax in any Subhash Ghai film but since Pardes was a different film, I thought it should have been treated a little differently. The character left me with an unsatisfied, unfulfilled feeling as an actor, which has absolutely nothing to do with Subhashji, the script, the screenplay, my role, the co-actors, the songs or even the treatment. Maybe it’s because I don’t like love stories. My wife tells me I was very good, my friends tell me I was fantastic. Maybe if I see the film this very personal, empty, confused feeling will go.

Do you love your India?
Not like Amrish Puri, but yes, I love my India (Smiles). My father was one of the youngest freedom fighters and I feel I deserve this freedom. We have achieved a lot in the last 50 years after losing so much in the 100 years before that. If only we were a little more honest we’d be one of the leading powers of the world. We’re already a leading power in showbusiness despite our screw-ups. I just wish we were a little cleaner... nicer... better. There are times when I feel let down but no way will I ever leave India and settle abroad. More than being proud of being a succesful star, I’m proud of being an Indian.

What’s happening with Shikhar? Are you doing the film?
I really wouldn’t know. Subhashji and I have not met since Pardes was released. I was not in town for the premiere. When I got back, Subhashiji had left the country. We’ll get together when he returns. We’ll talk of Pardes first and then Shikhar if there’s any talk to be done. I’d given him dates for two films — Trimurti and Shikhar. The dates for Shikhar were used for Pardes. Now I no longer have any commitments with Mukta Arts. There was no talk of a third film

You’ve been raving a lot about Yes Boss but a lot of people who’ve seen the film are outraged. They feel Rahul was nothing more than a glorified pimp.
If I could throw a woman down from a terrace why can’t I play a pimp? Which one amongst us is not a pimp? If you’re not Mother Teresa you’re living for yourself and I see nothing wrong if a young, educated boy of twenty-five dreams of being rich, successful, of ruling the world. All of us want to be famous, good-looking and a millionaire. I did, I’m sure you do too and so does Rahul. He wants to be rich and he wants a girl and decides he’d rather go for the money. That, I think, was a very honest decision. A decision so many of us take without wanting to admit it. I think if anything, I’ve glorified honesty in the film, in all my films. I have never played a character who teases a college girl or dances with a bikini-clad woman in the first couple of reels, and then goes on to fight for the country, die a martyr, in the last few reels.

But Rahul was ready to stand back and watch the girl of his dreams being seduced by his lascivious boss. In fact, he even goes to the extent of soliciting girls for him. Doesn’t that make him a pimp?
Pimping or prostitution may not be the best of professions and if you’re fortunate you don’t get caught. It’s all a part of the struggle for survival. Who’re we to pass moral judgements? I think 90 per cent of the young boys in India would postpone their wedding till they could grab a job. Some of them might even willingly stand back and see the girl of their dreams marry someone else, someone who can offer her a better life. Does that make them pimps? Yes Boss had moments of real life. Rahul was modelled on Aziz Mirza and I don’t think he is a pimp. Anyway, Rahul does decide in the end that love is more important than money, even his job, and that should redeem him. But it doesn’t stop him from dreaming. He tells his wife even at the end that he’ll buy her a Mercedes some day. Rahul may have been lured into following the wrong path for a while but I don’t think he was ever a bad guy. If anyone was bad, it was the boss who had everything, including a wife, and still seduced innocent girls.

When you came from Delhi five years ago you were a guy like Rahul. Dreaming of hitting the big time. Did you ever anticipate that one day you would be tagged along by gun-wielding security?
Never! In fact, when I heard of foreign actors going around with regular security I’d find it very strange... very vain. When I was shooting for Zamana Deewana I’d see Mr Bachchan and Mr Shatrughan Sinha followed around by guys with rifles in their hands. I used to find the sight amazing. I used to wonder, “God these guys are so famous!” I never thought one day people would think that I should have security. (Smiles) Just the other day I ran off without my security guy. But now I’m slowly beginning to realise that today if you are a public figure, doing well in any field, you need protection. And it’s not a temporary arrangement. These guys are here to stay.

Doesn’t it scare you, this constant fear you have to live with everyday?
I’m not scared for myself. Fear can only end in death and I’m not scared of death. But yes, I’m scared for my family. God forbid, if someone from my family were kidnapped I’d go crazy. More than fear it’s a kind of impotent rage at being subjected to this situation. It could be something as small as an income tax raid. After it had been announced that I was the highest income tax payer in the country why was my house raided? And then the papers carried reports that were so completely untrue. Basically I am a very law-abiding and honest person. I’ve never cheated anyone. I’ve never done any underhand deals. So why am I being subjected to this kind of persecution? And what’s worse is that there’s no way I can explain to all those people out there that so many of those stories about me are untrue. If I say something there’s an underlying fear that it might give someone ideas, and so I keep quiet. And that, for an honest person like me, is difficult. Even if one person in a million thinks I’m involved in something not quite right, it makes me livid. But as I said, it’s an impotent rage. There’s nothing I can do about it.

Do you ever blame the press for some of your problems?
Not really. I know I’m a film personality and people like to read about me so the media comes to me. I may have had an aversion to the media earlier, but slowly I have curbed it because I’ve realised that there’s no way I can avoid the media. Even if I didn’t give interviews I’d still get written about. So I thought it was better if I gave them the facts. But even now, some of the facts get distorted.

When was the last time that happened?
Well, I’ve already told you about the income tax raids and how they supposedly recovered crores from my house. That’s all rubbish! Then for the last 4-5 years I’ve had a licensed gun. Recently I was told by the authorities that I should carry it around. The first day I walked out with the gun, I relinquished it at the security check at the airport. And the next thing I read is, “Shah Rukh caught with gun.” People don’t realise that if there was a security risk to my life, one news-making headline could aggravate it. Perhaps it was essential that certain people didn’t know I carried a gun around. Now everyone knows.

Do you ever equate your position with that of Lady Diana’s?
No way! For one, Lady Diana was not a film star. But I am one, and so I know the rules of the game. If you are a Sumo wrestler you have to put up a fight, if you’re working in the coal mines you have to get black and if you are in the movies you have to get photographed. I’d miss it if nobody followed me around, if nobody talked to me, if nobody ran after me for autographs... God forbid, that should happen to me, ever. Maybe Lady Diana, not being a film star, didn’t want to be trailed by paparazzi all the time but I love the attention. And I don’t blame the paparazzi for Lady Diana’s death. She had to die, she died. But it was a sad way to die. She was young, pretty and in love. Even if she hadn’t been Lady Diana it would have been sad. But what I can’t understand is the media hype that followed her death, the talk of greatness. I think Mother Teresa was far greater.

Doesn’t it scare you bringing your baby into a world where there are dangers,
terrors and unsuspected enemies lurking around every corner?
Sure it does. The timing is unfortunate. I’ll try and ensure that my son, Aryan, has a normal, healthy childhood. Free of all worries. And I can only pray that none of my worries will ever touch him.

Five years from now your son will be seeing your films,
judging you. Does the thought worry you?
It terrifies me. I don’t think I’ve done any films I’ll be ashamed of, which will embarrass him. And in the next 4-5 years I want to build up a collection of films which I’ll be proud of, and which he’ll be proud of. I have films with Shashilal Nair (untitled), Abbas-Mustan (Badshash), Mani Ratnam (Dil Se), Mansoor Khan (Josh, that’s another bad guy film) and Karan Johar. Projects with Priyadarshan, Rajkumar Santoshi, David Dhawan and Aziz Mirza are in the pipeline. I want Aryan’s friends to say, “Hey man, we saw your dad’s film. He’s not with it, but he’s okay. A real cool guy.” I guess, that’s the way they’ll be talking in the next century, right? That’s the way we thought of Clint Eastwood. He was a little out of synch, not really our type, but still a real cool guy. Fortunately, though I may not have bowled the college girls over, I’ve endeared myself to their mothers and to little kids. They love me... my films. You know, I love toys and I love kids, I can play with them for hours. But after 4-5 hours I would normally leave them behind and return home to my wife, sister and dog. Now this little boy is going to be there in my house, day in and day out. He’s going to be a part of my family, he’s a part of me. That feels a little strange.

Has the thought of becoming a father changed you?
Well, it hasn’t made me less of a sex symbol. And I’m not feeling old, though now I’d like to play a father in my films. It hasn’t made me less of a workaholic though I’ve cut down on my work and shoot only one shift these days. And I’ll be working even less next year. But yes, it’s made me a nicer person, I hope. Pregnancy certainly has made Gauri sweeter, warmer, nicer and more beautiful. She looks like Mother Mary now. Very motherly. And I think she’ll be a real good mother. I loved her passionately before, and I still love her but more tenderly. It’s thrilling to know she’s carrying a part of me. And I’m just waiting to see, touch and play with this little part of me. He’s going to be my life’s best toy.

Will you win an award for your son this year?
Oh definitely. And I’ll tell him, “This one’s for you, Aryan.”

Let’s get back to your professional life now. And the one film you were very excited about.
Mani Ratnam’s Dil Se. Is the film due to start work again?
Oh yes, we will have a 22-day schedule in December when we plan to catch up with the 12 days we lost in November because of Mani’s differences with the workers. It’s a sweet love story of a young boy and girl. It’s amazing to know that even at 32 I’m still considered young. We intend to complete the film by January or February. Working with Mani is the high point of my career. He’s so organised, fast on the job and such a fun guy. He’s given me a damn good role and I hope I don’t let him down. I’m working harder than I ever did because I want to justify his faith in me. He’s such a gentleman.

You were supposed to give Mani’s dates to Shashilal Nair in
November and rush his film through, right?
Yeah, but there was some problem with setting up the sets so we didn’t have the schedule. But Shashi’s film should take off soon. It’s a cop story. It’s not a role I’ve done before. It’s very action-oriented. I plan to do one action film every year and Shashi’s film will be a very slick action film.

Deewana Mastana was a film you were very excited about at one time. Today it’s a film made with someone else. Have you seen the film?
Yeah, I have.

What did you think of it? Has it changed from what had been narrated to you?
Yeah, it’s completely different from the subject Manji (Manmohan Desai) had narrated to me. Then he expired and it became a two hero film with David Dhawan as the director. A takeoff on What About Bob?. I liked the subject but at the time I had a lot of date hassles. I won’t say I suggested Govinda’s name as my replacement because at the time I was still too new to recommend anyone, but I was glad when David told me Govinda was doing my role. I enjoyed the film, especially the second half. I love watching Govinda’s films, David’s films. I also like Anil, Juhi and Johnny Lever. I wish the songs were better. I guess, because the film took so long in the making the songs seem a little outdated now. The style has changed so much in the last 12 months. I enjoyed the film.

Deewana Mastana is doing very well.
Are there any regrets because you missed out on a hit?
None. This isn’t the first film I’d dropped out of which went on to become a hit. I’ve left so many films, and I’ve done so many films other actors dropped out of. These things don’t affect me.

When you’d just entered the industry you had given yourself five years after which you insisted you’d quit. The five years are up. What are your plans now?
Yeah, the five years are up and they’ve been very good five years. I’ve been welcomed with open arms, been given the best of films, roles and directors and amply rewarded for my efforts. I’ve taken a lot from the film industry, financially. Now it’s time to give something back. As an actor, maybe as a director or even as a producer. I’ll be around for another five years, at least. And they’ll be the thanksgiving years.

Yours has been one of the most amazing success stories we’ve seen.
When you came from Delhi had you ever imagined you’d reach where you are today?
Sure, but when I said that at the time, everyone said I was pompous, brash and outspoken. They told me that with success I would become more humble. That hasn’t happened yet, though I have to admit that at times I have been humbled.

When was the last time that happened?
When I was dancing with Madhuri and Karisma during Dil To Pagal Hai. These girls are so talented and a hundred times better looking than me. I couldn’t even keep in step with them at times. Madhuri has been around, slogging it out and triumphing over the lows for 10-12 years and Karisma has been at it for 5-6 years. Working with them was a humbling experience. It made me wonder: Why am I the chosen one?

But just now you confessed you’ve always been confident
you would be one of the chosen ones.
Okay, I always knew I could act well. I worked hard, was dedicated and honest. But so many others were, too. Yes, I’ve been a big success story but why, I wouldn’t know. I guess, God was just nice to me and that’s another humbling thought. Of course, I still have a long way to go. Even today given a choice I’d still opt to watch an Amitabh Bachchan, Rajesh Khanna, Shammi Kapoor, Dilip Kumar or a Dev Anand film. Even among my contemporaries, I can’t think of comparing myself with Govinda, Salman, Jackie, Anil, Sridevi, Madhuri and Juhi. I was a fan of Juhi’s when I was in college and it amazes me to see that she’s working in tandem with someone who came into the industry years after her, and working on her own terms. The other day I read that Madhuri had done a film with Vinod Khanna, and now she has worked opposite his son, Akshaye. To last so long in the industry is a creditable achievement. I’m nowhere in the league of these guys. Maybe I can compare myself to Kajol, Akshay or Karisma who entered the industry a year before I did. And since all three have been equally successful, I wouldn’t say mine alone has been the biggest, most amazing success story you’ve seen yet. We’ll have to wait till the 'thanksgiving' years are over and then decide about that!

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